As near as ! Can tell, everyone from RMTC PRed @ Harvest Moon 1/2. It seems the cool weather makes you go faster.

The forecast was 47* @ 6am and getting all the way up to 63* by 2pm with a 30% chance for thunderboomers. With Yon racing instead of announcing there was no reason to expect the race to be called off. It was chilly when ! Got there and still dark. ! Got my chip, got set up and went off to get body marked. Molly was there. Since she kissed Matt for luck, ! Figured having her do the body write on my arms would be lucky. Probably luckier than letting her kiss me. All wrapped up in neoprene, it was time to wander to the beach.

Yon in the water was concerned. He wasn't sure he could even finish. He was not planning to push too hard. ! knew ! Could make up his 5 minute head start on the swim. ! Know ! Swim faster than him. He knows he's slow on the bike and the run. He's the only one who knows that. !'ve seen him running recently and !'ve ridden with him. Yon doesn't kn ow what he's talking about. So, ! Guessed we'd be in T1 together then ! Could make a couple minutes over 56 miles and try to keep him from taking the 5 minutes back on the run. Actually, 1 was hoping to make it through the whole run without falling apart completely. ! Can stay focused for a 5k, but longer than that is really hard for me.

19 minutes after the pro start, wave 5 was off. 1.2 miles around the buoys and back to the beach. WI took me 1:18 so ! Was expecting 40 minutes. Two weeks ago @ Candy's Fit Tire Tri we did a ½ mile swim and ! Extrapolated from that time to an IM time of 62 minutes. That would be really fast and not sustainable over 4.8 times that distance. ! Wanted to start today just as hard then settle in. That's what ! Did. Lots of kicking and whacking until we got spread out some. ! Kept pushing and even though ! Could see as many orange caps ahead of me as ! Had seen at the start ! Felt like ! Was going fast. No need to slow down since my arms would have the rest of the day off once 1 got to the beach. ! Was a little off course. Nearly crossing over into oncoming traffic. Around the buoy and heading back in, ! Could see the exit flags. They were a bit off the track along the buoy line. ! Adjusted and found myself a good distance outside of the rest of the pack. They would have to cut across once they got near shore and go farther than ! On the hypotenuse. !'m half way back now and watching the shore to the West. It was moving by quickly. Surprisingly quickly actually. Could ! Really be on that good of a pace?

Out of the water and up the beach ! Had no idea what my time was. My pace has been the same for years so that would make it about 40 minutes. No reason to question that. There was Yon in T1rolling on arm warmers. ! struggled to free myself from the rubber casing. The clock raced on as ! Sat there. It was still cold and ! Was wet. It must have been 10 minutes preparing to ride. Yon had walked by wishing me luck. Probably he thought ! Would still be sitting there when he finished the bike. At long last ! Was on my feet heading out to the mount line. ! Was still cold and wet. As ! Went up the first rise from the parking lot to the park road ! Saw Yon ahead of me. He got over the top before me and it was all downhill to Quincy from there. ! Wasn't going to get him on this segment. Onto Quincy ! Was closer. Wait. He's got black arm warmers. Yon was putting on RMTC yellow arm warmers. Who was this? ! Pushed and came up to his wheel. Still no joy. ! Pushed some more and had my front wheel abeam his bottom bracket. ! Couldn't see who it was. Quincy turned up and he accelerated. ! Had no answer. He was pulling away on the ups. ! Wasn't gaining much on the downs.

Quincy rises and falls in great chunks. ! Was rolling swiftly. Well over 30 mph down and holding high teens up. ! Was passing a lot of people. Yon was among them. ! Wished him luck and cheered him by reminding him we where already into the final 67 miles of the race. Almost there. A long way out some riders were returning. Th first one was not Matt. Neither was the 2^nd one. A few more who weren't Matt came by. Something must be wrong. Someone called out to me. That may have been him. It didn't seem right that he wasn't up front. Back to cranking. ! Was pushing really hard. Probably a little too hard. The turn-around was still ahead until ! Got there. Then the wind. A head wind to cut the pace down. Not quite half way back to the Res. We hit the turn North. There were two bikes ahead of me and one large truck ahead of them. The volunteers directed the truck inside the cones around the turn. He had to slow down a lot to make the maneuver. We had to slow down a lot to wait for him to get out of the way. The three of us accelerated up the slight hill until the girl dropped off. The guy in the white, long-sleeve Skins was going fast. He would go by and ! Would chase. ! Would go by and he would chase. We went back and forth until we got onto Colfax where Denny was staggering home. ! Dropped him there. We were heading East again with the wind behind me. ! Was in the high 20s sometimes over 30 mph. The early swimmers were falling behind me. On occasion ! Could see the mysterious RMTC kit. That gap wasn't closing.

Two and one half hours requires an average speed of 22.4 mph. ! Was at 26-28 every time ! Looked. ! Began to think ! Could pull of a 2:30 ride. Maybe even better than that. Add my 40 minute swim and 10 minutes in transition for 3:20. ! would have 2:20 for the run to match my PR. !'ve run the distance under 2 hours before. 2:05 just last week. ! Could do the 9 minute miles, but would ! Have that left after a hard ride? Could ! Keep focused and keep moving? That would be a chore. The faster the ride the more buffer ! Would have. We turned South off Colfax toward Kiowa. ! Could feel a little wind. Not bad and my speed was still up. 2:30 was looking realistic. ! Thought back to the head wind on Quincy after turning around. The same way ! Would be going for the last leg back to the Res. That wouldn't help. Southbound was over before sooner than ! Expected. We were onto Quincy. 40 miles down. 16 to go. Mostly into the wind and hills. This would be the hard part. This would kill my time and my legs. This is where ! Had to race smart or, like Matt and pros ! Could race stupid and apologize to my body tomorrow. ! Opted to ask forgiveness instead of permission. Even then my pace plummeted. ! Was climbing @ 8 mph. Still catching people, but 16 miles of that would not fit into my time frame. The descents were faster. ! Didn't really need to be able to focus on what was ahead. The enemies were big enough to pick out as my eyeballs bounced around. ! Had to minimize my losses. Every 15 minutes at 8 mph required 15 minutes at 38 mph to even out. ! Pee'd. Eight miles down Quincy ! Looked at the time. If ! Could average 60mph all the way back in, ! Could salvage 2:30. ! was cutting into my running time. Jodi's green kit goes perfectly with her green Guru. And Megan was coming back to the road after pulling off the course to pee. Finally the park road was there. The mysterious RMTC kit was just ahead of me. ! Had closed most of the gap. It was uphill to T2. ! Passed him by the park gate. It was Jodi's man. He had been hauling ass the whole way and was just now giving in to rational thought. ! Thought ! Should be easing off for the run too, but ! Didn't give in. One more turn. One little climb and it was time get out of my shoes and spin in. My feet had felt cold and wet when ! Started the ride. Now they were neither wet nor felt. A puffy, numb sensation. Just under 2:45 for the bike.

Shoes on. Sunglasses, number belt. ! Really needed to pee again. The out houses were just out of T2. ! Didn't feel like ! Usually feel after a massage and eight hours of sleep. ! Felt like my feet were twice their normal size and feelings of remorse would soon rush into them. ! Was ahead of Megan and Jodi's Matt for now. The last bit of mile one was a short steep hill. It hurt. My shoe didn't feel right so ! Stopped to adjust. Megan and Matt ran by. ! Was under 9 minutes for that mile. Just barely. By my estimate, ! Would have to squeeze 12 more nines out and then sprint hard to the finish line if ! Was to have any chance of matching my PR. ! Kept on. Mile 2 was 9:23. This was not going well when it should have been going the best of the run. Even if ! Didn't PR ! Still had 20 minutes to get under 6 hours which would be an improvement over recent years. A girl on a bike was approaching. She turned onto a different section of the path followed by a really fast guy. He must be the leader. Matt would be right behind him to rip his legs off in the last 2 miles. Some other guy came along. Something was dreadfully wrong here. Half a mile further was Matt. ! Surmised that he had flatted twice. Two guys ahead of him means two mechanicals. Isn't that the natural order of things? He was 8 miles ahead of me. If ! Hustle ! Can catch him :) The next 2 miles were 9 ½ each. PR was close to slipping away. ! Must be under 2 hours on the run to do it. ! Needed to pee. Jodi's Matt got away when ! Stopped. We were doing the same pace. He just wasn't stopping.

There were miles to go. ! Thought back to IM Moo. ! Had run no farther than 8 miles in the final 3 months before the race so ! Decided ! Was to run that far before ! Would even consider walking. Last weekend ! Had run 13.1 so ! Knew ! Could do it if ! Wasn't pre-fatigued. Keep pushing. ! Can do it. There is a wide dirt section along the path on top of the dam. Megan was on her way back. The guy in the white Skins shirt had passed me some time back. He said ! Really “crushed the bike”. The closer ! Got to the turn-around the more crowded it became. ! Grabbed some Gatorade. 20 feet to the cone. ! Told them it was too hard. “!'m going back”. Water and Endurolytes. Nearing the end of the dirt section ! Passed Yon. He was within a mile of me. Either he had held on during the ride or he was killing me on the run. !'ve seen him run. ! Picked up the pace.

Mile 8. 5.1 to go. !'ve just noticed it's all downhill from here. !'m back to 9s. Some better. Still hard. Still not sure if ! Can make the PR or hold Yon off. !'m still going. My will is waning. Must focus. ! Can do this. ! Know ! Can. Mile 10. Just a 5k to go. ! Should be able to knock that out in 23 minutes. Not happening today. There are 2 guys just behind me. They are pacing each other. ! Picked up the pace to keep them back there. They weren't talking. The push was helping. They can't get by. Not for a few k anyway. They put in a little surge and passed me. ! Really need to pee. They were gapping me. ! Can't keep this pace for another mile. ! Stopped to pee. One was from the wave before me. If ! Could touch him he was 5 minutes behind me. 1.5 miles to go. It's really hard now. ! Can make it. Yon and Matt are too far back to see. There's a dirt section that goes down then up then down then up again. Ouch. A guy got past me. ! Asked him what wave he was in. He was 10 minutes behind me. 1 mile to go in 10 minutes to stay under 2 hours. ! Told him ! Was shooting for under 5:40 to PR. That's the time he was going for too. How could that be possible? He was a mile out. 8 or 9 minutes to go and he was at 5:40 already. Maybe ! Was a little ahead of what ! Thought. 1 k to go in 8 minutes. ! Can do this. !'m back on the concrete path. ! Can see the pavilions. ! Can hear the announcer. Orlinda and Henry are at the last turn. 100 yards downhill, A kink around the fence Matt is there cheering. A girl with a camera over her face is next to him. ! Think it was Molly. (it was) Lot's of people past the fence for the last 20 yards. ! Was flat-out now. 10 feet to go. ! Looked at the clock. 5:43???? ! Knew there were 20 minutes (actually 19) on the clock when ! Started swimming. Matty Matt and Dusty were at the end of the chute with another camera.

! need to wade in the cold water to soothe my legs. It was a struggle to get there. How could the clock say 5:43. That would be 5:24 for my race. Surely ! PRed. ! Dragged myself out and up to the results. That 10 minute T1 was under 4 minutes. It sure felt like 10. My 40 minute swim was 31 minutes. 1:59 for the run and 2:45 on the bike. This lends credence to my theory that ! Could do a full IM in 11 hours. We shall see. ! am really sore.

Congratulations to Pikes Peak Tri Club for finishing as 1^st loser in the club competition. A mere 16:34 behind RMTC. They should be very proud of themselves. http://www.withoutlimits.com/

In attendance were Megan, Big Al, myself and, of course, Candy.

3:30 am yet again. It's an hour and a half up to HorseTooth Res. In Ft. Collins. It was cold out. 61*. 76* in the water. This is the first year so the crowds weren't overwhelming. We swam in the cove into Lory State park. Long and narrow out from the beach. High sandstone cliffs on both sides and across the end. A little mist hung over the terrain. A gorgeous location. !'ve been learning that ! Need to warm up my shoulders before ! Go for a swim so ! Did. ! Was in wave 5 with 5 minute gaps between waves. After wave 4 went off ! Did a couple sprints then swam back to the start area. ! Found a large rock to brace my feet on. Just like starting blocks and rocketed off into the fluid. Recalling Jordan Jones' advice, ! Pushed hard from the get go and found myself being the guy who gets drafted. There were a few caps ahead. Most were behind. ! Kept pushing. ! Caught up to some feet before the turn-around and that guy fell off the pace soon after. ! Kept it going knowing ! Wouldn't need my shoulders after ½ mile. There were few ahead of me. The beach was muddy and slick up to the carpet. ! Ran to T1 the best ! Could and struggled out of the wetsuit. This is a socks-on race (except for Big Al who was living recklessly). A short jog to the bike mount line.

! considered a 'cross mount, but thought better of it and didn't fall at the line. The first bit was slightly uphill to the dirt road. About a mile to the single-track to spread out. My mountain bike handling skills are dependent on my current experience and since my last trail ride was New Year's day my fitness was not a limiter. After a couple water bars and my concern over tires softer than my road bike's ! came to see that the grades were pretty gentle. ! Had someone on my wheel so ! Kept cranking. He would catch up in the tight corners then ! Would lose him on the climbs. ! Felt really good going uphill. Eventually ! Did get passed by a couple dudes. Then they got by a backmarker that stalled me out. That opened a gap and ! Was starting to feel more confident. ! Was after them and starting to feel strong. A few miles later ! Was on their tail. The 2^nd guy was using his GPS navigator without current charts. Some segments of the trail were over ditches or dips that weren't deep enough for a bridge so they just had logs laid down to retain the dirt. As he headed into a right-hander that was more right than his navigator warned him, he took the wrong side of the log. Maybe he was British. ! Was scared for him as he dipped in and rode right through. Mid-way through lap 2 the front guy blew up. We went by and ! Was still hanging on. That's when ! Spotted his front quick release lever not levered in tight enough. He kicked it and failed to faceplant for my amusement. We were really moving now. ! Was thinking ! Could go under 2 hours since ! Saw 16-18 mph ever time ! Looked at my computer. For a 12 mile ride and 4.8 10-minute miles would leave me plenty of time for the 15 minute swim. The final bit of the ride was twisty with a banked turn before a short climb then 100 feet to T2. ! Lofted the front wheel over the top for the photographer.

It had been near drizzle conditions off and on for the ride. ! Opted to leave the shades in transition for the run. That too was uphill. Just a short stretch on the roadway to the single-track climb. ! Walked the aid station just a few steps to drink then continued the run up up up. We switched back and forth up the hill. Near the top ! Could look down onto the bay we had swum in. That was really nice. The top of the hill would have been a great spot for the photographer. They missed it. When ! Got to the top of the hill ! Saw ...more hill. It kept going up. ! Had a strange thought. “! really like trail running” ! Do actually. ! Was still running, just not very fast. Soon enough (! can say that now) it leveled off and mile 2 went by. So far ! Had been unpassed. The little guy went by fast, then another bigger guy. ! Could hear tiny footstrikes behind me. We were descending pretty well now. ! Asked him which side he wanted to pass on and a girl's voice replied. Oh crap. Passed by a girl. She was tiny. Too tiny to be going downhill that fast. She was also a redheaded menace. It's obvious what was happening. She had killed a clydesdale and drank his blood. Probably ate his still beating heart too. ! Apologized and did NOT witness anything. Mile 3 and some old guy passed me. Still downhill. Then another old guy became the 5^th to pass me. This one was Big Al. He'd had chain issues on the ride. When a multiyear 'cross state champion is chasing you down trying to catch the other old guy it's polite to pull over. The trail was too narrow for that so ! Dropped down to do some pushups. That way Big Al could leap over me and ! Could turn this into a real workout. He mistook that move for me tripping and falling. He feigned concern then ran off as ! Dusted my left side off. Not being a neat freak ! Was on his heels watching his line almost down to the aid station onto the road again. It was all downhill from there and ! Was pushing it. Big Al was still in the chute when ! Came in.

Candy was first to notice the blood on my knee. The dust had clotted the blood. Food and drink was ingested and results were posted. My 2:08:52 put me 61^st of 184 and 7^th in my age group out of 19. The next guy in my category came from Windsor were a bunch of the rest of RMTC were doing the road tri. Big Al won his age group. ! Didn't see Megan come in. http://www.myentryfee.com/results/Results.aspx My swim was the best ranked leg. ! Guess there aren't a lot of fast swimmers in the area. ! Did beat Big Al's swim time though so ! Must have done something right.

3:30 am. ! Wonder if that's part of the reason ! Haven't raced in 11 months and 8 days. ! Was expecting a long line into the park so ! Got a late start anyway. Barely any traffic to deal with. RMTC showed up in force. Both racers and volunteers. We were everywhere. ! Can't say the same for Parker or Arvada. No Arvadans that ! Saw and the few Parkerians ! Spoke to are taking Tuesday night off. Their coaches are having their best peak so they have a shot @ us. HA!

Jim started the music with some Enya. That brought back memories of the day before this day in history. On August 14, 2001 Enigma, who is practically Enya, was playing on the stereo of the 41' sail boat ! Had spent the night on. We were moored in a bay in an island in Canadia. http://2001abikeodyssey.blogspot.com/ Docked in Vancouver that night.

Yon claims to be in Israel now so there was an alternate announcer. Not a real Aussie. He only even tried once. “Go Sheila” He didn't stand on his hands or toss any shrimp on the barby. ! Sure hope Yon comes back next year.

There was some confusion at the start line-up. ! Wandered thru the line and saw numbers out of order and a lot bigger than mine. ! Was 3 from the front of the line so ! Slotted myself in there and took off. ! Had noticed a lot of the sheilas had walked in slowly. ! Was having none of that. ! Dashed and zigged until ! Was diving in far to the outside of the enemies. More traffic during the run around to lap 2. ! started seeing green caps. Lots of caps. ! Drove right through them. Liz It Up was a wet suit stripper. ! Wanted to keep it in the club so the rest of them were out of luck.

One of our jerseys was just a bit ahead of me when ! Mounted the bike. They were moving fast. Turns out it was Heidi down from her altitude training camp. ! Passed her when she went off the side of the road. It looked to me like she had drifted while drinking and tried to ride it out in the dirt one-handed. Her handlebars slipped on her. ! Was really moving on the ride. Turning around on the bonus segment ! Hit the wind hard. No wonder ! Was going so fast. The first bike to pass me was a Blue. Blue bikes are really fast. We want to keep Blue as a sponsor. If ! Had a Blue !'d be faster too. Ride Blue. (! am available for product development) Quincy was fast until the turn-around. It's that damn wind again. It was a long way back.! Did the really cool barefoot dismount right before the line.

Into T2. Todd came in while ! Was putting my first shoe on. That's a problem. No more time to relax. Big Red Paul who flipped me off last time ! Saw him was observing from the run exit. He was much nicer this time. It was starting to warm up. ! Can do a 10k. ! know ! Can. ! Was uncomfortable. By the 2^nd aid station ! Had remembered to squeeze the tops to the cups before drinking. Todd had gotten by. Then Ed came by. He's too fast to be a teacher. Michael was looking unhappy when he passed on his way back. He always looks unhappy as he passes everyone in sight.

Turn-around finally. Heading back. Patrick, Nina, Dara, Heidi, Casey. All behind me. Patrick was the big concern. He hasn't trained all year kind of like last year when he was worried about doing Xterra for his first tri ever on a crappy old bike. He crushed that day. ! Kept pushing. ½ mile to go, ! Could see someone way back. Probably Patrick. ! Had to keep pushing. The course was so convoluted ! Couldn't tell if he was gaining on me or how big the gap was. ! Kept pushing. There's the turn onto the final bit. ! Had him for sure now. Afterburners lit. ! Have a vague recollection of cheerleaders lining the final yards. More power. Over the line. A volunteer looked up and dove for cover before ! Ran him down. ! Was just coasting in now. Coasting way too fast. Darin dispatched the 2 fastest finish line volunteers to try to stop me before ! Crashed into the lake. They found me on the other side of the pavilion trying to remember how to breathe. They were very concerned. They always are.

Sunday Sprint

3:30 again? It's cold out. !'ve waited so long !'ve forgotten the whole race. ! Recall that it hurt a lot, Charley is a freak of nature (1:05) and ! PRed the 5k by over 2 minutes. It's now down to, don't laugh, 22:42. 1:10:58

Dip N Dash

Good golly !'ve got nothing left. RMTC killed those other teams. Who were they again?

It's been five years since I bought a new bike, and those have been five very uncomfortable riding years, so this year I decided to take advantage of our club sponsorship by Blue Competition Cycles and buy myself a new bike. Moving from a tri geometry to a road geometry was something that I had been thinking quite a lot about, and as a part of this I was determined to get the best fit I could afford. Anyone who has ridden with me over the past five years will tell you that I whined incessantly about numbness, discomfort and a general lack of bike fit, in spite of the fact that I had been fitted twice (once at Campus Cycles and once at REI).

Oh how little I knew back then...

With this in mind I decided that this time round I was going to get my bike fit done properly, and not at the local bike store, but rather by someone who understood a bit more about body mechanics as well as fit.

So I made an appointment with Todd Carver, the master fitter at Retul (another club sponsor), and armed with my bike, wife and child made the trip down to fivepoints to get fitted.

The first thing you notice as you walk into the Retul storefront is that they are NOT a bike store. Sure, they can fit you for and put together a custom bike, but these guys are all about the fit. From the 6 or so bikes they actually have on the walls for decoration to the stems, handlebars, saddles etc... that they have in the fit area you can immediately see that you are not going to be told that you would fit so much better on a custom bike but rather that you will be fitted onto the bike you walked in with.

Todd himself is an extremely personable guy. He will answer any question, and will not make you feel silly for asking.

The fit begins with a few questions - What are your goals, why do you feel like you need a fit? Where are your areas of discomfort? Describe discomfort / pain points etc...

Once that is taken care of Todd puts you on the massage table and does a physical evaluation of how flexible you are, how long your legs are, whether they are of equal length (I never knew one of my legs was longer than the other) and any other general physical attributes that could affect your bike fit.

After collecting your physical details it's time to get on the bike. Due to the 3D nature of the fit, you need to be fitted with electrodes that can monitor the motion of your body as you ride. The placement of these electrodes is important as they denote key points in the fit.

Up on the trainer and start riding, at which point Todd monitors the various angles and points of contact between your body and the bike on the big screen in real time.

For me a couple of small adjustments to saddle height, a new saddle and a new stem were required for the fit, and here is the interesting part. Due to the low sales volume (or at least this is my assumption) of parts Retul don't offer the big box type savings on parts if you buy through them. So no that isn't really that interesting, but what I did find very interesting was the fact that Todd was happy to refer me to several shops that could probably sell me the parts I needed for slightly less. Needless to say that I was more than happy to just buy them from Retul. I didn't think that the 20 minute drive each way, and the 2 week wait for another appointment justified the $10 in savings.

Also... I am a firm believer in supporting small businesses, especially when those businesses go out of their way to support us.

Todd recommended that I ride the new configuration for a few long rides, lent me a saddle to try so that I didn't need to buy one and then find out it didn't fit (nobody takes returns on saddles!) and fixed my stem. He also recommended some yoga to improve my flexibility.

At this point I have to admit I had already decided that I really liked Todd, he's just an affable, good guy. I ask a lot of questions and Todd was not only not thrown off by any of my questions, but had concise informed answers to all of them.

After a few long rides I had to go back in to get some minor tweaks made, and was again surprised by the level of professionalism and knowledge at Retul.

The final result? No more numbness (VERY good...), no more neck pain and a much more stable ride.

If you need to get your bike fit adjusted, or are just uncomfortable or thinking of buying a new bike I would highly recommend taking advantage of our club sponsorship at Retul. Simply put this was one of my more interesting and beneficial experiences with a triathlon vendor!

Yon.

• Squid lid! Buy one. Train in one. Race in one. Love one. I threw mine in my bag at the last minute. When I jumped in on Saturday for a practice swim, I could not believe how cold it was. I decided to use it for the race. On race-day, I noticed in the corral when we were jumping in the water that all those weathered old ironman types all had theirs on. Sure you can go without. But why loose the extra heat and be that much more in the hole by the time you get to T1? They’re only 15 bucks.
• Warm clothes! All that junk about the desert is mostly true. It can get cold overnight. It was about 52 degrees on race morning. Before the race, I was in a beanie, sweatshirt, tights, socks, and shoes. I saw lots of people in shorts and flip-flops drinking cold gatorade, while I was all bundled up and drinking hot tea. Advantage, dotnate.
• Oregano’s! On University Ave. Go post-race or a couple of days early. I ate WAY to much of the pizza and desert. Everything else was great too!

• Race-day is mental. Everything else is out of your control. Think about it. You’ve trained (maybe well or poorly) and your physical shape is already determined. Your taper week is already done. Weather will happen. Race situations will happen. Bike breakdowns will happen. The only things you can do to change your outcome on race day are mental.
• Az Ironman in November might be the best race. No offense to the other Ironmans (Ironmen?), but Az has a number of good points. The surf isn’t rough. The weather is fairly predictable (I know the wind was bad in April, but it should be consistently better in November). The run has tons of spectators (3 loops and almost always in earshot of the finish announcer). Both the bike and run courses are fairly flat.
• It was so worth it.

My Less Than Iron Day

The day started like any other day… NOT!!! I woke up before my alarm went off, which is highly unusual, and at 4:00 am, which is even more unusual. I’d sleep in until 10 everyday if given the opportunity. I am most definitely a night person. But this was the day I’d been dreaming of for over 25 years. It was the day for which I’d spent the last 2 years training and preparing and it was the moment of a lifetime of anticipation. Well not quite 2 years, afterall there was that major surgery followed by a six week hospital stay last Christmas as well as other medical issues that derailed me from my training for a few months. But I’d say there was a good 18 months of training during these past 2 years. The day of my Ironman was here. I knew I could go the distance but could I make the time cut-offs? By the end of the day I’d know.

I had checked in my bike and turned in my transition bags on Friday, it seemed odd heading out the door with only my swimming gear and some extra food in my special needs bags. I had to leave Henry behind in the room, because I had nobody to take care of him, nor anywhere to leave him. So I left the room without my security.

The drop off for the bike special needs bag was across the street I dropped that off and headed up toward the transition area. I dropped off my run special needs bag at the designated site outside the transition area then went to be body marked and as always had to explain that I didn’t get my legs and arms marked because I wore long sleeves and tights for the entire race. Reluctantly she marked only my hands with my number, 2438. I went into the transition area and added things into both of my “swim to bike” and “bike to run” transition bags. I then stood by my bike looking for Katie, the one person I knew that was there. I could feel the stress and panic rise as I watched all the people getting their bikes ready and then getting themselves ready for the swim. I was cold so I went back to my “bike to swim” transition bag, and put on my jacket. As 6:00 am finally rolled around I made my way into the portalet line and then put on my wetsuit. I returned my jacket to the “bike to swim” transition bag then turned in my dry clothes bag. I started to walk away but then decided not to take my extra goggles with me to the beach, so I went back and retrieved my dry clothes bag from the bin and placed the extra goggles in the bag and prayed that I wouldn’t need the extra goggles, I then headed for the beach.

It was almost panic time as I entered the swarm of people making their way to the beach. There were nearly 3000 competitors and 2 to 3 times that many spectators, all being corralled through one entry area. Having social anxiety, I usually cannot stand to be shoulder to shoulder with more than 6 to 10 people so being amongst thousands took every bit of fortitude I could muster to not turn and high tail it out of there. After what seemed like hours I finally made it down to the beach just in time for the cannon to go off starting the pros on there way at 6:45 AM. I made my way to the water and swam a few quick strokes as the announcer was instructing everyone to get out of the water. I wasn’t sure where I should start, to this point I had only done wave starts among 130 or less, and I had experienced a panic attack in my first wave start of the season so I wanted to start toward the back but I also knew that my swim is my strongest event so I didn’t want to be caught behind a bunch of slower swimmers. As I was starting to feel the panic surge the national anthem started and I put my fears aside as I stood in respect for my country and flag. Right after that Katie found me. So rather than ruminate any further about where to start I followed her into the water as the cannon went off starting one of the biggest events of my life.

We waded out and when Katie started swimming, I started swimming. It was like being in a school of fish, people beside me, in front of me, behind me, and at times swimming over the top of me, and within a few seconds I lost sight of Katie. I was all alone in a mass of thrashing arms and legs. I could feel the trepidation begin to rise, but I had to keep IMUA-ing (Hawaiian for go forward). To slow down for even a moment meant others would be swimming over the top of me. I tried to concentrate on my stroke but really all my attentiveness had to be averted toward panic control. It seemed like I was swimming out to sea forever, I wasn’t exactly comfortable but I was finally settling into my cruise stroke, that is until I came to the first turn, where a bunch of people swam over me. I had to stop and breast stroke for a bit to get some composure about me as I continued moving forward. The same thing happened in the next turn, only this time I was hit in the face and my goggles were knocked sideways. I had to stop and try and fix my goggles but I couldn’t get them to seal over my left eye properly and I had to swim with one eye shut because water kept leaking in. After a while I noticed that there were no longer arms and legs thrashing around me. I was still swimming toward the building that I was sighting off on the beach but I was way off course to the left. I reluctantly swam my way back into the multitude. I left the water and went over the timing mat completing my first 1.2 mile loop.

I was about to re-enter the water when I noticed the water cups. I walked back against the crowd to get a drink to rinse out my mouth of the sea-water. My throat was burning and I wanted to leave that crowd of people in the worst way, but I had to be like Honu (Hawaiian for turtle) and never back-up. So I started my trek across the sandbar and rejoined the swim for my second loop. As I walked I tried to get the seal back on my goggles, but did not quite get it. I swam most of the second loop with one eye closed. Again I was in a mass of people and again at each turn as much as I tried to be on the outside, I kept winding up on the inside where I got pounded. Even though I still felt as though I was cruising in my stroke, I did expend a lot of energy toward averting a full fledged panic attack. I left the water after the second loop and heard my name announced as I walked up the chute toward the transition area. I left the water with a sigh of relief, believing I had survived the worst of the day.

There were people there to assist me in getting my wetsuit off and I then walked through the showers, the water was cold, and the breezed chilled me further. I shouted my number as instructed as I came into the transition area. I entered the tent to change. In all my other triathlons I swam in what I intended to wear for the entire triathlon, but this time I decided to change. I’m glad I did because as I removed my tights my legs were covered with sand. This would have really rubbed me raw by the end of the bike ride. As it was the back of my neck was already feeling chafed from the wetsuit. I had put body glide on my neck for the swim but added more in transition hoping it would relieve the burning sensation. It took me a long time to get through transition. It was very tough to get my cold clammy body into my dry clothes. But with assistance from volunteers I finally managed. I exited the tent and allowed other volunteers to apply sunscreen to my face but I forgot to ask them to put some on the back of my neck. I stopped at the portalet, as I exited I practically ran into Katie. We exchanged greetings, I then retrieved my bike and headed toward the bike mount area. As I stopped to put on my gloves Katie ran past me and that was the last I’d see of her for the day.

I anticipated and prayed that I’d have a great bike ride. I left with hope that I’d be back before 4:00 pm and had no doubt in my mind that I’d make the 5:30 cut-off. I started off into the wind. I found myself struggling to maintain 13-14 mph, but told myself it was okay. I was warming up and starting at a slower pace to conserve for later. I just knew I’d get faster as the day went on. I kept telling myself it’s just going to be here along the coast, once the route cuts inland the wind should die down. I noticed that I had forgotten to zip my jacket and figured all the air I was catching was slowing me down. I tried zip it up but the zipper was stuck so I stopped momentarily to fix the zipper. This did not help as much as I thought it would. After about 6 miles the course turned inland, and instead of the wind letting up it became a stronger head wind. It’s okay I told myself, I’ll be able to pick up the pace once I get over the bridge, at the 12 mile point. I made it over the one “mountain” (the bridge) on the course, but the wind did not die down, if nothing else it was seemingly getting stronger. About a mile further, at the first aid station on the bike course I began to sense that I wasn’t going to finish the bike ride before 4:00 pm as anticipated. I knew I had to pick up the pace, because at an hour into the race I’d barely ridden 13 miles. I knew that I still had plenty of time, but I also knew that if I couldn’t get going another 2-3 mph faster I’d be running out of time.

I plugged away into the wind. I kept trying to get into a tougher gear but when I did my cadence would slow down to less than 60 rpm, and I wasn’t going any faster, so I’d shift back to an easier gear where I could keep a higher cadence. No matter what I tried I couldn’t seem to get any faster than 12-13 mph. And I was struggling to maintain that. My throat was still burning from the salt water and my eyes were tearing, my nose was running and my bronchioles felt as they were constricting as I smelled the smoke from the controlled burn site. I contemplated stopping to take a couple of puffs from my inhaler, but decided against it. I knew that I had some natural allergy herbal supplements in my bike special needs bag and decided to wait until I picked that up at mile 50 rather than give myself the shakes that I always get when I use my inhaler.

I knew the course would turn to the East soon and I anticipated that I’d no longer have to deal with the wind, at least not a head wind, wrong. The route turned to the East and as a “Go Army” shirt passed me on a slight hill he commented on how it seemed that the wind was conspiring against us. Some say it was a swirling wind that day, but let me tell you, it sure felt like a head wind to me. I had rolled thru the first two aid stations only taking bananas and a bottle of water, I had determined before I started the day that I wouldn’t stop until I had gone at least 30 miles, so at the third aid station I stopped and removed my jacket, transferred some of my fluids from the back of the seat cages to the frame cages where I had easier access, and used the portalet. Then I went on my way.

It seemed like everyone had passed me by this point, but as I trudged along into the wind, there were still a few riding past. By this time my sinuses were completely clogged. I kept telling myself when I get to mile 50, I’ll be able to get my supplements and hopefully my nose would quit running. The terrain was not exactly flat, so I tried to take advantage of the rolling hills. I started standing going up and pedaling hard and fast going down, but still my average speed remained under 13 mph. As I came up the hill to the 4th aid station, I was standing on the pedals, and the volunteers handing out Gatorade said “Welcome to the only hill in Florida!” Yeah right! This time I rolled through only taking orange slices and a bottle of water. I knew it was only a few miles until I would get my special needs bag and that I had my drink of choice along with my herbal supplements and other food. When I did finally reach the area where the special needs bags were handed out I had to roll through slowly almost to the end. I grabbed my bag on the go but stopped once I was beyond all the boxes but before I left the trash drop zone. I couldn’t afford a littering penalty, as time was closing in on me to make my cut-off time. I took my supplements and stashed all my food in my bento box and jersey pockets. I again transferred fluids from the bottles in my back seat cages to the bottles in my frame cages. As I went on my way the feelings of gloom began to set in because I was already over 4 hours into my ride and had not yet reached the half-way point. But I was still hopeful that I’d get a tailwind for a good portion of the rest of the race. Afterall I’d been going against the wind all day, there had to be a point when the wind was with me.

Shortly after crossing the 50 mile mark the route turned South along Hwy 231, and I was finally able to pick up a little speed. I was averaging 16-18 mph until I hit the rolling hills. There was still wind that wasn’t in my favor but it seemed that when I picked up the pace the wind did not have as much of an affect against me. But as I hit the rolling hills my speed dropped below 10 mph. I stood up on the pedals trying to keep my speed up and I was able to keep going at 12 mph Shortly after I passed the halfway point, yet another rider passed me calling me by name and told me I was still in it but that I needed to average 14 mph to make the time cut-off. I wondered if I knew the man from somewhere since he called me by name, but then I remembered my name was on my number. I crested the hill and checked my speed but could only get to a little over 18 mph against the wind going down hill. My hopes were still high as I crossed the 60 mile sign then the 100K sign. However shortly after that the route turned off the hwy to the west. Since I had a headwind coming east I anticipated a tailwind going west, but that was only wishful thinking. The wind was strongly against me, and the road was bumpy. I could not stay down in my aero position because I felt I had no control. My speed quickly dropped below 13 mph again. And with that my hopes of making the 5:30 cut-off time began to fade.

As optimism waned my pain became more noticeable. My feet and soft tissue screamed with every bump in the road. I kept telling myself just push through the pain, and tried to fill my mind with positive self-talk to take my focus off the intensity of the soreness. “You’ve still got nearly 3 hours. You can make it. Keep going, keep pushing, God please take away this wind or give me more strength in my legs. Peace be still, Peace be still, Peace be still! It’s not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit sayeth the Lord of Hosts. God I need Your Spirit. I’m not going to make this cut-off unless you intervene here. Peace be still, Peace be still, Peace be still!”

The wind was still at my face, the road was still bumpy and everything still hurt, but I was still on the road. I made it to the 73 mile cut-off point and turn-about by 3:00 pm as I crossed the mat the volunteer at the site told me I still had plenty of time to make the 4:30 cuttoff in 20 miles just keep riding steady, you have a tailwind the rest of the way there. I responded “I sure hope so” and I headed toward the aid station. I was having some stomach discomfort so I again stopped at the portalet, then took the time to transfer fluids for what I anticipated would be my last stop on the bike leg. I headed south this time with the wind, but my energy was low and I could only get up to about 15 mph. I passed the 80 mile marker shortly after 3:30 pm. I quickly calculated in my head that I’d have to average over 16 mph to make that 5:30 cut-off. The Lupus pressure points in both my feet were throbbing with each pedal stroke but I knew I had to push through the pain. And still I couldn’t get over 14 mph. Then once again the road became shoddy. And it was all I could do to keep my speed above 13 mph. Somewhere between 80 and 90 miles I could hear a motorcycle tailing me. I thought it was the course referee. “Push on,” I told myself. “As soon as you stop pedaling they are going to tell you to quit. So push on! Imua! (Go forward)” On the other hand as my pain continued to intensify with each bump in the road I was also thinking, “If I’m not going to make the cut-off just stop me now, why go through any more pain if I’m not going to finish on time?” But the motorcycle did not pull around me, so I plugged along, not stopping at any of the aid stations. Finally, somewhere around mile 94 the motorcycle passed me and I saw that it was a police officer. I was not waved over, and since it was 4:34 by my watch I assumed that I had passed the 4:30 cut-off point. Yet knowing I had less than an hour and still another 18 miles to go I knew that unless I had a very strong tailwind that most likely my race was over. My pace dropped off, as I tried to stretch my foot and relieve some pressure from my soft tissue area. I then tried to pick up my speed hoping for a miracle. At 5:01 pm I rolled past the aid station just before the 100 mile mark. The volunteers at the aid station told me I was looking good and to keep at it as I waved off the offers of water and Gatorade. I thought that I had made the 5:00 cut-off, but just ahead I was signaled to a halt, and informed that I had missed the 5:00 pm cut-off by a couple of minutes.

I hung my head in shame, as the race official tried to console me saying “there’s always next year.” “Not for me,” I responded sadly, “I don’t have the money to enter another one of these.” He asked me how my energy was. I was truthful and told him “Low”. Then I was given the option to finish the last 12 miles on my bike or catch a ride in the support vehicle back to the transition area. All my aching throbbing parts told me to say “What’s the point? My race is over.” But I couldn’t quit. I had to go on. IMUA Honu. Go forward turtle. Never turn back. I chose to go on and complete the bike leg. Knowing that my race was over, I fought back the tears as I went on my way. Since I had officially missed the cut-off the course was closing ahead of me so I had a police escort that last 12 miles. I wanted to put on a show of determination but could hardly keep up 11 mph let alone the 26 mph it would have taken to get there before 5:30.

As I embarked on these last 12 miles I ruminated on my day and tried to figure what I could have done differently. Where had I let my dream slip through my hands like sifting sand? This was the big one I had put everything I had into it financially and emotionally. I had cashed in all my bonds, the only inheritance I’ll receive from my dad, to enter this race last year. There are no more bonds, so financially it was this year or never. Also with the diagnosis of Lupus, I know I must keep exercising and staying as healthy as possible to keep the symptoms at bay, but how long will I be able to endure the training that goes into an Ironman? So I deduced that physically, I may never have this opportunity again, and somehow I was going to have to make peace with the fact that I’d failed to accomplish my dreams.

“Perhaps if I hadn’t taken that last stop…” I started thinking, “well yeah I might have made that 100 mile cut-off but I still wouldn’t have finished by 5:30.” “Perhaps If I hadn’t taken so long in that first transition, or gone back for that drink of water during the swim, or…” I kept trying to think of things that had slowed me down. But I also countered with the why’s for each time break. Rinsing the salt-water out of my mouth made me not feel as ill. After each stop/break at the aid stations I had a surge of energy. And most importantly there was a lot of sand in my long sleeve compression shirt and tights that I removed after the swim that would have tore my skin to shreds. Even with all this extra time, it was doubtful that I would have made the 5:30 cut-off. I knew that bottom-line I just wasn’t a strong enough cyclist. Yeah I had gone the distance several times during training, but I wasn’t strong enough to have a faster pace especially in the wind. And one good training ride does not a race make. I had entered the day hopeful that I’d have a ride like I did when I did my 60 miler along the S. Platte River path a month earlier. I was able to average just under 17 mph and anticipated that this would be my race day speed. “How could I be so far off?” “Again it boiled down to the fact that I’m not a strong enough cyclist, especially on the rolling hills and against the wind.”

It was 5:42 as I re-entered the town. I wasn’t sure of the route and had to rely on the police officer escorting me on the motorcycle to direct me into the left hand turn. There were still squad cars stopping traffic for me so I didn’t have to slow too much for traffic signs and lights. There was a handful of people cheering me on. Someone shouted “You’re looking good keep at it, just 6 miles from here”. With each shout of “You’re almost there” or “you’re looking good” I wanted to shout back, “My race is over, I’m a failure, I didn’t make the time cut-off” but I simply said “Thank you” and went back to my ruminating. As I trudged along the scenic drag, darkness started to settle in as the sun had disappeared. I still had on my dark sunglasses with the Rx insert. My clear lens was in my bike to run transition bag. I hadn’t anticipated that I’d be riding in the dark. I was sure glad for the police escort. Cars drove by and honked and people shouted what they thought were words of encouragement out the window, as if I were still in the race. Finally there was a right hand turn off the main drag, but as we neared the transition area it was congested with spectators and competitors, who had already completed the entire race, leaving. The police escort had to pull ahead and make a path for me. Then the last 200 yards or so the Police escort had to turn off and a transition official ran ahead trying to clear a path, it was very scary trying to weave through that sea of people. Then when we finally got to the dismount sign and entry back to the transition area he had to do his job and strip me of my timing chip.

At that moment I could no longer hold back the tears. I began to tremble and shiver as the tears rolled down my face. He asked me if I was okay, I shook my head that I was. He then took my bike for me and walked me into the transition area. Another competitor came up asking if I was okay, stating he was a Doctor. I tried to assure everyone that I was okay. They asked if I was cold, I really didn’t feel cold but I knew that I was so I shook my head yes. When I was finally able to speak, I told the Doctor and race course official that I was just disappointed that I hadn’t made the time cut-off and was not being allowed to finish the race. With that, the race course official went off to get me a space blanket. The doctor tried to assure me that I’d have another chance, but I knew that it would be many years before I could get out of debt and even begin saving money for another try. When the race course official returned with the blanket the Doctor went on his way and the race course official also tried to assure me that I’d have another shot, and wished me luck saying he’d see me finish next year. He walked with me back further into the transition area and racked my bike for me and guided me to the volunteers who would be able to help me find all my bags.

By this time I could hardly walk because my feet hurt so bad. I was relieved to find my bike to run transition bag so that I could change out of my bike shoes. Once I changed, I limped around trying to find all my gear. I tried not to notice all the finishers medals hats and t-shirts around me. It seemed I was the only one there who didn’t have them. All I had to show for my efforts for the day was the pain in my feet and the raw area on the back of my neck (which turned out to be a pretty bad burn) as well as other aches and pains. I finally found all my things and put on every dry piece of clothing I had plus the space blanket and I was still cold. I ate my “Recovery” bar, then went to find some more food that was supposed to be there for the athletes. I sure needed the chicken broth, the slice of pizza wasn’t half bad either. I made my way back to the transition area then stood in line to check out.

I had my bags draped over the aero bars but still it was awkward trying to get my bike and 3 bags full of gear out of there. As I walked past the area where they were handing out run special needs bags I stopped to try and get mine since I wouldn’t be out on the run. No sense in letting that food go to waste. Those chews and gels weren’t free afterall. But I could not get the attention of any of the volunteers to give me my bag. As I stood there by the fence people kept knocking into me and my bike. “Can’t they see me standing here?” I wondered. Finally I gave up figuring to come back later when I didn’t have so many things to carry. As I continued my walk back toward my room a group of women greeted me telling me they were proud of me. I informed them that I didn’t finish. They offered to help me carry my things. I told them that I was in the building directly ahead, but they chose to walk with me anyway. They informed me that they were there as volunteers from Canada and had originally decided to come because one of them had a son who was supposed to be in the race but had been injured so didn’t make the trip. But they decided to come anyway. As we departed company one of them assured me that God had placed our paths to cross for such a time as this. They also assured me that I would get another opportunity. (I later found out that these women were afraid to leave me and were quite concerned because apparently I looked quite ill.)

Once back in my room I called my momma and my Pastor because I definitely needed some motherly love and pastoral counseling. All through the calls I could hear the speaker announcing everyone that crossed the line saying their name and “You are an Ironman!” Each time it became more and more exasperating as it was rubbing in the fact that I was a DNF. But after talking with my mom and Pastor, I began to try and count my blessings. I still couldn’t understand why God would allow me to come all this way and not complete the race. I’m still looking for the lesson, or where God will turn it for my good. My Pastor assured me that just making the trip was a blessing and encouraged me to try and enjoy the rest of my time there at Panama City Beach and enjoy the rest of my trip. He didn’t try to assure me that I’d get another chance, but after talking with him I determined that I would have to train as if I would have another chance since that was what was keeping my mental health issues and Lupus in check. With that I begrudgingly put my shoes back on and headed out to retrieve my run special needs bag. I was out there just in time to see my friend Katie finish. She looked strong. I made my way back to the transition area to congratulate her, but couldn’t find her. So I left a message on her cell phone, grabbed another piece of pizza and headed back to my room. Since there was no ice to be found I ran cold water from the shower on my aching legs and feet for about ten minutes then took a tepid shower, set the timer on the TV to shut off on its own after midnight, tuned in to the Disney Channel, turned up the volume to drown out the PA system outside and drifted off to sleep ending the worst best day of my life.

La Tortuga/Honu