I was working as a volunteer at the Summer Open Sprint Tri in Longmont. Since I needed to leave early I was assigned to be at the bike mount and dismount site. It was my job to instruct the participants when/where to mount and dismount their bikes and to also watch to be sure that their helmets were fastened properly. And I had to help divert traffic. Most of the riders were already out on their bikes when a teammate brought her bike out of the transition area and as she was casually mounting her bike she informed me that she had just PR’d her swim. The glow in her face wasn’t sweat, it was pure joy. Now I’m not the BFF that someone is going to call or text with such news. But because I was there as a volunteer and because we knew each other as teammates I was able to share in this moment. I became so excited for my teammate. The other volunteer at the mount/dismount site asked if I knew her. I proudly proclaimed, “yeah I do, that’s my slow lane buddy from the Rocky Mountain Tri Club”. Then I proceeded to tell him about RMTC. The more I talked about it, the more the awesomeness of the club and all the athletes became evident to me and I’m sure the pride came out in my voice.

Some time later after most of the other riders had returned my teammate finished the bike leg of the tri still with the glow of satisfaction in her face and eyes. This really started my day in a good direction. Shortly thereafter I had to leave, and as I drove out I saw my teammate powerwalking the run portion, and it dawned on me, she’s a “completer” like me. And somehow at that very moment I felt a sense of connection. Now it’s not the fault of RMTC that I’ve had feelings of disassociation prior to this. As I’ve mentioned in other blogs, I’ve a stress disorder and social anxiety. With that comes esteem issues, and overwhelming feelings of unworthiness. But seeing my teammate out there reveling in her accomplishment for the day, suddenly brought validation. It no longer mattered how slow I am, or that I'll probably never win a big race. (I could potentially place in my age group provided the race is small enough.) These are not determining factors for being in RMTC. What matters is that we are all out there Tri-ing

As I drove by I honked and cheered with a sense of sincerity and pride like I’ve not felt before. I began to think about how wonderful this club really is. I mean we have the elite that are a nanometer from being pro, down to people like me who are out there to complete the race, and everyone in between. Then I began to think how awesome every member is in their own right from the “Eliters” right down to the “Completers”. And I’m so grateful to be involved with such a magnificent group of people.

I recently used this write up to go along with my entry into the Drama-Special Recognition category at the VA talent show. I did a ventriloquism act with Henry entitled "Have a Happy" (another Elvis song you probably don't know) In order to enter in the "Special Recognition" category, the dramatic entry has to somehow relate to either your military experience or (as in my case) your disability. Here is what I wrote:

Henry the Therapy Puppet Henry is much more that just a puppet to me. As I learn more about therapy animals, I have discovered that much of what these animals offer to their owners, I get from Henry. He has been with me all over the world. Some may think that I have delusions that Henry is a real person. I take that as a complement in my skills at giving Henry his own personality. No, even though I am a Mental Health Patient at the VA, I don’t have such delusions. I do however need the character/personality that I have developed in Henry to help me cope with many day to day situations much like a therapy animal. I struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Social Anxiety which are hidden disabilities that make social gatherings quite uncomfortable for me. So meeting and greeting is a very, very challenging task. It’s not that I’m unfriendly or standoffish, as I may seem at times, I just have a lot of difficulty taking the first step to say hello. That’s in part why I have Henry. In order to cope in crowds I often have to retreat into my own little bubble and ignore my surroundings so unless someone approaches me and snaps me out of this pseudo-trance, I may not notice you, in fact, I appear to ignore everyone. It is not personal; it’s just what I must do to cope in crowds. When Henry is with me I’m better able to survive in unfamiliar and/or crowded conditions. First, Henry is a curiosity. People are drawn to him and want to see him, if for nothing else to shake their heads at the crazy puppet lady. In order to see Henry they have to be in front of me. That means there are less people behind me. Second, people will often talk to Henry directly. He opens up the conversation with a greeting and will converse with the people. Eventually I’ll get into the conversation myself. And before I know it I’m coping in the crowd and am no longer among strangers. There are times when the situation is much to overwhelming for me to handle, even with Henry. Henry still helps me in that since he is soft, when I retreat into my own little bubble, I can sit and squeeze him tight to my chest and rock. He usually doesn’t protest… too much :-)

Thank you, Thankyouverymuch

Incidently, I've been notified that my act with Henry won first place nationally.

Orlinda, La Tortuga